At the time of writing this article, my youngest has finished his primary school preliminary examinations and will be sitting for the Primary School Leaving Examination (PSLE).

People around me assume that I would be feeling anxious because—gasp—it is THE PSLE. It is the one major national examination that has been debated several times in Parliament; it is the exam that most Singaporean parents and children lament about, as if their fate was entirely determined by it.

Truthfully, I am not as stressed as people believe me to be. Sure, now and then, I do experience bouts of anxiety. But, by and large, I am a lot more “chill” than people think.

God saw us through this difficult phase. His grace is sufficient for us all.

It is not that my three boys are naturally smart and can do well without effort. They have different abilities and personalities. Laziness, lack of interest in school, and lack of discipline are just some of my children’s weaknesses. And, like any other children, they have their stronger and weaker subjects. 

The main reason I am not anxious is: I have learned to let go and trust in God for my children’s exams. 

I have learned to stop complaining about the education system or my children’s weaknesses. 

Please don’t misunderstand me.  None of this happened overnight. It was a process, and I learned trust, one step at a time.  

Learning I Am Helpless

My first step in learning to trust God was realising and accepting my helplessness in parenting. 

My sons are 18, 15, and 12 respectively. Here is what I’ve learnt after almost two decades of parenting: We can try our best, put in all our effort, and spend all our money, yet do very little to change or influence the outcome.  

I have learned this firsthand. When I start to take credit for a parenting “achievement” I think I have earned through my effort, something will happen to humble me and bring me to the realisation that I cannot trust in myself, but only in God.

The main reason I am not anxious is: I have learned to let go and trust in God for my children’s exams.

When my first child started to go through his teenage phase and we had to deal not only with his constant pushing of boundaries but also with the rollercoaster of his emotions, there was nothing we could do but pray, let go, and trust God.  The alternative would have been a lot of strife, anger, and damage to our relationship. 

God saw us through this difficult phase. His grace is sufficient for us all. 

When I discovered how unprepared another son was for a Direct School Admission (DSA) opportunity, I had no choice but to, in sheer desperation, let go and trust God. 

I discovered that God could make a way. He has a plan that goes beyond me relying on my own effort and wanting everything to be perfectly the way I want it to be. 

Learning God’s Purpose

My second step in learning to trust God is realising that my children are here for a purpose, and their purpose is not defined by their academic performance, success, or potential earning power.  

God has taught me to take a long view of things as a parent. 

Life is a long journey and I have experienced so many “failure moments”. Very often, things do not happen in neat, 16-episode packages, like those Korean dramas we watch, where things get perfectly resolved before the drama’s end. 

Even if my children fail in school, I need to recognise that this is but a piece of the puzzle that God is putting together. 

…when we are able to place our trust in God, all the “weight” that we put on exams such as the PSLE becomes meaningless.

He remains in control and so long as He is at the centre of our lives, and we remain faithful to Him, there is always a plan, there is always a future, there is always hope. “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11, ESV). 

Ultimately, what I am saying is that when we are able to place our trust in God, all the “weight” that we put on exams such as the PSLE becomes meaningless. 

Such exams become just another milestone in our journey on earth called “life”, and we realise that God’s plan for our children’s lives is much greater than succeeding in exams. 

…my children are here for a purpose, and their purpose is not defined by their academic performance, success, or potential earning power. 

Indeed, all our hopes and dreams for our children, our efforts, and our investments in them must be undergirded by our confidence that, despite the system and the outcome, our Heavenly Father can make all things beautiful in His time (Ecclesiastes 3:11). 

So, as I approach the PSLE for the third time, I am trusting God. 

For I know I can do nothing else but that.  My son and I may be busy with activities such as revision, but we are not driven by panic and fear. 

Here is a verse I hold onto during the exam season: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28). 

May it bless you too.

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