As every man who has served national service (NS) in Singapore knows, NS is no walk in the park. Not for young men—and especially not for young, Christian men who want to follow Jesus.
My two years in NS served as a spiritual turning point for me as a young believer back in the 1970s.
As many of us who have gone through NS can attest, the army is a harsh environment. Vulgar language fills the air and temptations abound. As believers, we can often feel like outsiders.
A platoon mate once asked me, “Why must you be so holy?”
Surviving NS with My Faith Intact
Many believers in NS and the military (if they choose to sign on) are bombarded with peer pressure to use foul language, engage in sexual impurity, and indulge in worldly pleasures.
It’s no surprise that some young men start NS only for their faith to falter. Unfortunately, it can be easy to skip church and fellowship time on weekends, having booked out on Friday exhausted and wanting “me time”.
In His grace, however, God kept me close to Him. He used military life to train not just my body but my character.
Specialist cadet school, then known as section leader school, was one of the toughest times of my life. I experienced physical and mental exhaustion to almost breaking point, and endured the abrasive speech and behaviour of my officers. But that period was a time of spiritual awakening for me.
God’s Word anchored me during my morning exercise drills and kept me going as I charged up hills, through passages and verses like Isaiah 41:10; Philippians 4:6–7, 13; and Ephesians 4:29. Even when I was tired, hungry, or discouraged, I held on to God’s promises.
I also felt grateful for the spiritual foundation that Sunday school had given me as a child, and for my mentor from The Navigators who trained me in Scripture memory, the spiritual disciplines, and life as a disciple-maker.
I remember booking out of camp on Saturdays and heading straight to church in my uniform and boots because I wanted to stay close to God and didn’t want to miss fellowship with my fellow youths. All this prepared me not only to complete NS, but to follow God wherever He called— including 23 years in the air force, followed by 18 years as a pastor.
Passing the Baton: Watching My Son Grow Through NS
When my son Luke enlisted in NS decades later, I realised that NS was also a test for us parents.
Many of us will grapple with this new chapter of life, in which our sons are thrown into the deep on their own and have to make decisions that can profoundly impact their relationship with God.
My wife Angie and I began to pray more than ever when Luke entered NS, a practice that continues till today. Though he doesn’t talk a lot (unlike me!), the one-on-one time we spent with him on weekends when he booked out were the times we had some deep and precious conversations.
Once, he shared his fears about being a sentry on guard duty at a place that was labelled as “haunted”. We prayed for him and comforted him with God’s Word in 2 Timothy 1:7. He survived that night duty, of course!
Many of us will grapple with this new chapter of life, in which our sons are thrown into the deep on their own and have to make decisions that can profoundly impact their relationship with God.
Fear and anxiety can also creep into our hearts as parents. I recall how fervently we prayed when my son had to go to Brunei for live firing and had to cross a huge river.
What’s more, he was selected to be the first in his platoon to make the crossing. They later found out, however, that the river was infested with crocodiles—so that plan was scrapped. We were so relieved!
The two years our sons are in NS can be a time we learn to pray even more, trust in God even more, and surrender our sons to Him even more.
Preparing Our Son for Enlistment
Of course, before Luke started NS, I tried to prepare him for what would lie ahead.
I shared with him some of my own experiences of military life, like my first work trip to Thailand after I signed on. Colleagues joked, “When you go there, make sure you visit the fish tank!”
Naively, I thought they literally meant looking at goldfish! It was only on our first night there that I understood where I was being brought with the other officers. There were lanterns everywhere, with prostitutes sitting behind full-length glass windows, holding up numbers. Another Christian colleague and I were out of there in less than five minutes!
It was a sobering experience for me, and I shared this with my son to warn him to be careful and to stay away from wrong company (1 Corinthians 15:33; Proverbs 13:20).
Teaching Our Son to Trust God
Angie and I prayed for Luke every day, for the Lord to protect him from harm and danger, for Luke to take ownership of his own relationship with God, and to be discerning and not mix with the wrong crowd.
We fixed every Sunday evening as our family time, when we would have dinner together and walk along Changi Village beach praying and asking how he was doing in NS.
Just before he began officer cadet school, Luke injured his thumb badly while trying to open his Swiss Army knife. It was a deep gash that required five stitches and a hospital stay.
Thankfully, God healed him fully and he went on to successfully complete his officer cadet training. During that time, I thought of an acronym, THUMB, which I used to remind him to “Trust Him Unconditionally, My Beloved”.
This acronym served as a comforting reminder not just to Luke but to myself as his father: that even when things go wrong, God is still in control, and because of this, we can depend on Him.
Encouragement to Parents
As a father and former soldier who has journeyed with my own son through NS, I’ve learnt how fathers in particular play an important role in preparing and walking with their sons through this season of life.
Mothers and fathers alike have important ways they can contribute to their sons’ NS experience. For most fathers, the unique thing we can contribute is our lived experience of NS that enables us to empathise with what our sons are going through.
It won’t always be a good time for us to share our wisdom, but sometimes we can just listen to their point of view and encourage them in their faith.
This season can be a precious opportunity to bond with them in a meaningful way, as we seek to encourage and strengthen them for the gruelling challenges that lie ahead.
Fellow dads, even though they may not share this with us openly, our sons need a lot of assurance and encouragement from us. We can come alongside them and simply give them the space to share their struggles. It won’t always be a good time for us to share our wisdom, but sometimes we can just listen to their point of view and encourage them in their faith.
Something else we can do as parents is to be intentional in surrounding our children with godly influences. When I was chairman of my church’s youth group, I observed that NSFs who tended to keep the faith were those who kept being rooted in God’s Word and church fellowship. Those who had a weaker relationship with God and the church were likely to walk away.
As parents, how can we position our sons to stay close to God? A good starting point is to ground our families in prayer and Bible reading, perhaps through a regular family devotion time.
We could also actively look for opportunities to root both our sons and ourselves within a godly community, such as a church youth group or a prayer group for NS parents.
There’s also the Military Christian Fellowship, where young men can connect with fellow Christians in NS. A conference for NSmen and their parents will be held on 29 November, where they can learn practical tips on what it means to live out their faith in NS and get to know fellow believers navigating the same walk of life.
Running the Race of Faith Together
Looking back, I now see that my years in the military and my years of fatherhood were not two unrelated chapters but one continuous race of faith. God used my time in NS and the air force to train my hands for battle, and parenting to train my heart for surrender.
My years in the military and my years of fatherhood were not two unrelated chapters but one continuous race of faith.
Parents and young soldiers, we need not run alone. Let’s run the race together with Christ at the front and prayer at the centre.
And when our race is over, may we all be able to say like Paul did: “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” (2 Timothy 4:7)
Tips for Staying Connected with Our NSF Sons
- C: Communicate regularly
- L: Listen without judging
- U: Understand their struggles
- E: Encourage with faith and affirmation
- S: Stay focused and strong in the Lord
