At a recent class reunion, the conversation at the table revolved around vocations—and inevitably, around what my former classmates had achieved and how high up the corporate ladder they had climbed. Then, I was asked what I was doing.
Envious of my friends’ accomplishments and status, I could only manage a feeble “I’m a full-time stay-at-home mum (SAHM)”.
I left the gathering upset with myself. “Why was I embarrassed about my vocation?” I wondered. After all, I’d chosen this path voluntarily when I traded a comfortable position in the public sector for this humble vocation 15 years ago.
This really got me thinking. I had made the choice for a good reason—to take care of my two kids. But, over time, I had become a jaded SAHM. Mechanically going through my daily routines without much joy, I had ceased to view motherhood as a kingdom assignment. It’s no wonder that I didn’t accord my “job” as full-time SAHM any occupational pride.
This simple but powerful insight prompted me to revisit motherhood through the eyes of God.
Motherhood Is a Kingdom Assignment
“Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him.”
— Psalm 127:3
The assignment and privilege of motherhood (and fatherhood) comes from God himself. I was reminded of this truth in a Mother’s Day message by Serene Lim, a stay-at-home homeschooling mother, who offers pragmatic and godly advice on her blog “Building Up Moms”.
This truth reminds me that motherhood is no less inferior nor important than any other vocation; and that I’m accountable to Him for my kingdom assignment (Romans 14:12).
Allowing this view of motherhood to form the bedrock of my role brings purpose and fulfilment to my daily tasks as a parent.
In child-minding, for example, I’ve always tended to focus on the present and the urgent—like ensuring that deadlines and my children’s physiological needs are met. But if I remind myself that motherhood is a kingdom assignment, then I will take a step back to reprioritise. My daily routine will then be broadened into a more meaningful one that includes prayer times with and for the kids, sharing the Word with them, and modelling Christ’s way for them.
In short, my job description as a SAHM begins with the important task of advancing God’s kingdom at home.
In child-minding, for example, I’ve always tended to focus on the present and the urgent. But if I remind myself that motherhood is a kingdom assignment, then I will take a step back to reprioritise.
Going to the Heart of Service
As Serene aptly puts it, the very nature of motherhood has a way of making mums feel “stuck”. There’s no corporate ladder to climb, and what starts out as challenging loses its thrill after a while.
If I am able to see my mundane and dreary tasks as acts of service to the Lord, the load may become lighter, and the mundane more significant.
Think changing diapers, preparing lunchboxes, or getting an uncooperative child to memorise the keywords for his science lessons. These tasks need to be performed, but they come without limelight or accolades. The daily chores can become mundane, tiresome . . . and even dreadful!
But, if I see motherhood as a kingdom assignment, then I will be motivated to align my heart attitude to the call in Colossians 3:23–24—“whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord”. And if I am able to see my mundane and dreary tasks as acts of service to the Lord, the load may become lighter, and the mundane more significant.
This change of heart attitude doesn’t come easily. But I’m thankful that with God’s enablement and encouragement from like-minded mums, it’s become less of a struggle. Our Father knows that we need more of His supernatural power to do the ordinary than the extraordinary!
Fixing Our Eyes on Jesus
My other weakness and challenge as a mother, I’ve discovered, is envy.
Reflecting on my own feelings during the class reunion, I realised that my heart wasn’t contented. I wanted, or even craved, what my peers had—prestige, accomplishments, and status.
In a way, I was like Peter, who—when instructed to simply follow Jesus—compared John’s future with his own (John 21:21–22). “Lord, what about him?”, he asked. Jesus, however, responded that if He wanted John to remain alive until His return, that wasn’t—and shouldn’t be—Peter’s concern.
What did I learn? I realised I had to:
- Stop comparing myself with others.
- Focus on my calling.
- Carry my own cross.
- And most importantly, fix my eyes on Jesus.
Serene’s sharing reminds me that it’s easy to slip into comparison mode when I take my gaze off Jesus. And the comparison can sneakily extend to other aspects of life—about my husband, my children, and myself. This can lead to wallowing in self-pity and believing that I’ve been dealt a bad deck of cards. If these faulty beliefs are left unchecked, envy and resentment can follow.
Here’s what I have found helpful in dealing with unhealthy comparison:
Confess: Confession can be tough, especially when I come before God with a prideful spirit. But I have found confession essential in dealing with my wandering heart and self-righteousness. Just recently, I was battling with a spirit of entitlement. As I envied other mums being praised and affirmed in different ways for their efforts, anger got the better of me: “Here I am toiling. But nobody thanks me!”
In His patience and love, God rebuked me with a timely word from Luke 17:10: “So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.” Humbled, I knew I had to confess. But then, after confessing, I could take heart in God’s unwavering patience: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).
Seek: I’ve asked God what His specific assignment is for me, regarding my children, my husband, and myself. I believe that God has given every mum a different cross to carry, and He’ll enable and equip each one of us to complete our God-given motherhood assignment. The Message Bible translation’s paraphrase of 1 Corinthians 10:13 is particularly assuring: “He’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it.”
Avoid: Where possible, I’ve tried to take pragmatic steps to avoid falling into “the grass is greener on the other side” trap. If a WhatsApp chat group stirs up jealousy in me, I might mute the notifications or even exit the group altogether. If reading another mother’s Instagram posts creates discontent in me, I might stop following her.
Remind: I often try to remind myself that my children are God-given. He doesn’t make mistakes: He knows what He’s doing and what He has given me.
I believe that God has given every mum a different cross to carry, and He’ll enable and equip each one of us to complete our God-given motherhood assignment.
God Sees
“From heaven the LORD looks down and sees all mankind.”
— Psalm 33:13
Knowing that God sees me in my struggles, helplessness, and mistakes is a great encouragement. When my children were younger, I dreaded every bout of illness. Each cycle wore me out physically, mentally, and emotionally.
The challenges and struggles have not disappeared, but the journey has become more enjoyable and fulfilling, as I choose to see my assignment as a mother as one that is given by God.
Yet, I can now look back with gratitude when I see how God had seen me in my helplessness—and provided us with things like a timely consultation at an overcrowded clinic, or a kind word of encouragement from a dear friend. Knowing that He sees me as I am enables me to draw strength from His promise in Psalm 145:8: “The LORD is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.”
Seeing motherhood as a kingdom assignment has changed my perspective of my role and my journey in motherhood. The challenges and struggles have not disappeared, but the journey has become more enjoyable and fulfilling, as I choose to see my assignment as a mother as one that is given by God.
