4 Ways to Reach Our Prodigal Children

Some of us may have done our best to raise our children in the faith—by bringing them to church, praying with them, and teaching them God’s Word—all in the hopes that they might come to a saving faith in Christ one day.

Unfortunately, the reality is that some children choose to walk away from the faith when they grow up.

It’s never too late, however, for God to use us—as mother, father, grandparents, aunt, or uncle—to encourage our children to return to God. Just as the prodigal son eventually returned to his father after a long absence (see Luke 15:11–32), there is always hope for our children to repent and return to God the Father one day.

Here are four things we can do to reach our prodigal children in the meantime:

1. Offer your own heart to the Lord first.

Moses instructs the Israelite parents to love God with all their heart, soul, and strength. After doing so, they are then to “teach them diligently” to their children (v. 7).

Sometimes, it can be easy for us to zoom right to the end of this passage—which is to teach and talk about God’s commandments to our children. We might even make it the number one mission in our life to help our children follow Christ.

The first step, however, is for us to offer our own heart to the Lord. After all, we cannot lead our children in a direction we’re not going in ourselves. 

In other words: You first. 

Do you love the Lord and obey His Word? Is your faith in Christ evident to your children? If not, which areas of your life do you need to repent and recommit to God?

We cannot lead our children in a direction we’re not going in ourselves.

Let us be the first in our families to offer our own hearts to love God with our entire being, before expecting or wanting our children to do the same.

2. Pray for your child’s spiritual condition.

“Please help my child pass his O-Levels.”

“Please grant my daughter favour at work, and grant her a promotion soon.”

“God, help my son and his girlfriend reconcile after their argument.”

Praying for our child’s behaviour, studies, work, and relationships with others are all important. But do we also pray for our child’s repentance and salvation? Do we pray that they might walk with the Lord? That God would, in His power, “open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith” in Christ (Acts 26:18)? 

While praying for our child’s life to go smoothly is not wrong, it is even more vital that we never cease to pray for our child’s spiritual condition.

3. Pursue your child’s heart.

In this passage, Solomon entreats his son to give him his heart—in other words, to let him into his life. 

Often, parents of prodigals share that their children started putting up walls, became cold and distant, or withdrew from their relationship, particularly as they grew older.

Once, a 21-year-old man told me that his father wanted to bring him out for a meal to talk. He remarked: “Whenever my dad says he wants to talk to me, it means he’s going to lecture me for an hour about all the problems in my life.”

When this son goes to meet his father, his heart is already cold and shut off from him. He is unwilling to listen and unreceptive to his father’s words. His heart is already far from his father. This is what Paul warns parents against in Colossians 3:21: “Do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.”

Imagine what a difference it would make if, instead of constantly lecturing and putting his son down, the father said: “I’m really glad we can have this time together. I would love to use this time to just hear how you’re doing, what’s going on in your life, and what you might be struggling with. What would you like to talk about, son?”

The shortest distance between your child’s heart and Christ is you.

The most formative and powerful relationship in a person’s life is their relationship with their parents. If we want to reach our prodigal children with Christ, it means that we should build a stronger relationship with them.

Yes, God can bring people to Christ through different paths and people, and your son or daughter might return to Christ apart from you, such as through a schoolmate or hearing a sermon. But the shortest distance between your child’s heart and Christ is you. 

As parents, this means that we . . .

• talk less and listen more 
• prize honesty and authenticity in our relationship with our children—even when they share things that’s hard for us to hear or swallow
• ask God to grant us wisdom, self-control, and forbearance to know how to respond with truth and love in these moments

For example, if your child has rejected the faith because he or she is questioning some things about Christianity, or is bitter and angry about some issues that happened in church, and they finally decide to share this with us, it may be incredibly difficult for us to hear.

Yet, it’s a good thing—because your child has opened himself up to you and is being honest with you. In these moments, we can thank our children for being honest with us, and ask God to guide us as we journey with them through whatever doubts or struggles they have.

When our children feel safe and heard with us, they will, over time, start to give us their heart. As we ourselves love and obey God, pray for our children’s salvation, and nurture a real, authentic relationship with them, we can begin to exert a godly influence on them, such that they may one day delight in our ways (Proverbs 23:26)—the ways of God.

4. Be ready to sow gospel seeds when opportunity arises.

Sometimes, things can get tense and awkward in our relationship with our children if they’re no longer walking with the Lord. And, we stop talking about God or the Bible or spiritual matters, instead choosing to talk about the weather, food, or entertainment.

For some families, months and years can go by without anyone bringing up faith matters. Yet, we might have a thing or two to learn from Paul, who strongly believed that the gospel has the power to bring salvation to all who hear and believe (v. 16).

God loves your son or daughter more than you ever will, and He wants to use you.

Before talking or meeting our prodigal child, let’s ask God for courage and boldness, and for the opportunity to talk about spiritual matters with them. We do not know how God might use the gospel seeds we sow along the way to bring about a miracle in the life of your son or daughter.

You may feel anxious or awkward, but it is worth the risk. Let’s not give up and merely talk about the weather and work and where they’re going for the next holiday for the next 30 years. Rather, “let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9)

God loves your son or daughter more than you ever will, and He wants to use you. Be bold, be eager, and be ready to have a direct spiritual conversation with your child if and when the Lord gives the opportunity.

Never Lose Hope

There is no magic formula to bringing our children back to Christ. But God is all-wise, all-powerful, all-sovereign, and all-loving—and He gives us His Word to guide us.

May we never lose hope or give up, but strive all the more to offer ourselves to God first, to pray for our children’s salvation, to pursue our child’s heart, and to boldly share the gospel with them as the Lord leads.

This article was adapted from a podcast on the Visionary Family Podcast.  Adapted with permission.