You can picture what the ideal family devotion might look like. You’re sitting with your attentive child in a corner of a quiet room, and reading the Bible together. He’s asking questions about God most enthusiastically, while you explain the passage and refer him to other verses in the Bible, which he checks with the greatest dedication.
Except that this scene hardly happens—if at all. More likely, the nightly family devotions are 10 minutes (or less) of chaos, with the kids dragging their feet and refusing to read the Bible, answering questions with the greatest reluctance, or fighting their siblings and quarrelling over who should read the next verse. The unfortunate fact is: many children would rather spend that time on a comic book or their favourite YouTube channel than reading the Bible. (And, let’s be honest, that might well be true for many of adults, too.)
Yet . . . you know you need to persist. Because you understand that discipleship begins at home, you have a deep desire to get your child to spend meaningful time with God and His Word, for that will strengthen his faith, make him wise, and help him walk more closely with our Lord.
But what if your child is just not interested in the Bible? What can you do, and how can you respond in a helpful, godly way?
This question was asked of three parents who are actively involved in children’s ministry: Lim Chien Chong, Teaching and Resource Director at Singapore Youth For Christ and father of two teenage boys; Sophia Huang, a children’s author and mother of three; and Gerard Su, a children’s ministry staff at Bartley Christian Church and father of two. Here’s what they suggested:
Engage with other methods and mediums
While the discipline of proper reading is important, Chien Chong takes a more circumspect approach towards the challenge of getting children to sit down and read a chunk of the Bible, word by word. Given the reality of ever-shortening attention spans and the ever-widening range of competing mediums of communication, why not, he says, embrace some of these tools, like video and interactive content, to engage kids with God’s Word?
After all, he notes, videos can sometimes help people understand certain concepts more easily—something that he himself has experienced as an adult. “There is certainly a place for reading, and we have to tell our children that there is great value in reading, no doubt about it,” he says. “But I think that we can pace this out slowly. It doesn’t have to be an either-or thing.”
Perhaps parents can mix the “traditional” approach of reading with videos, interactive and engaging apps to keep the young ones interested in God’s Word, and show them that His word is exciting and just as relevant to their lives today, just as it has always been.
“There is certainly a place for reading, and we have to tell our children that there is great value in reading. But I think that we can pace this out slowly. It doesn’t have to be an either-or thing.”
Online apps and resources like the Bible Project, for instance, can help children interact with the Bible in a fun and meaningful way. “They summarise the whole Bible very well; these resources can be very useful,” he notes. “There are times when I will teach children that it’s important to read, but in the meantime, I’m not going to lose too much sleep over using other approaches. We can engage them with good videos too.”
Factor in their unique abilities, limitations, and preferences
In getting their kids to dig into the Bible, parents also need to take into account the reading ability of their children. This not only depends on their age, but also their individual ability.
Although his two children are the same age, Gerard can see a difference in their interest and ability to read. One was way ahead of her peers, reading books meant for older children, while the other one sometimes struggled. “Let’s be realistic,” he says, “the reading ability of your child does play a big part.”
Parents also need to take into account the reading ability of their children—which not only depends on but also their individual ability.
So, instead of forcing his son to read substantial chunks of the Bible, Gerard turned to other mediums to get him interested in God’s Word. “When he was younger, I gave him an ‘action Bible’, and he would just flip through the pictures. Later, he started reading the dialogue boxes, and within a few weeks, he could tell us every single story in the Bible. You have to remember that what excites boys and girls are also very different.”
Be sensitive to their moods and energy levels
While parents might prefer to hold family devotions at a fixed time each day or week as a discipline, they also need to stay sensitive to children’s moods and level of energy.
Sometimes, a good “teaching moment” can come at an unexpected time—and not when the parent is sitting down and ready to give a lecture. So while the Bible reading may take place according to a family schedule, the teaching moment may come later, when a child is more receptive or reflective over something that has happened.
Sometimes, a good “teaching moment” can come at an unexpected time—and not when the parent is sitting down and ready to give a lecture.
Chien Chong, for instance, has discovered that evenings are not always the best time, especially when his kids are tired after a long day at school. Nor is trying to hammer in a lesson just after a tense incident—although he also believes that the teaching shouldn’t come too long after, when the child has forgotten.
The best teaching moments, he adds, can come at unexpected moments when a child feels like talking. “It’s not about when you want to talk to them, it’s whether they want to talk to you,” he points out. “You can sit them down and talk to them, but they’re not listening. But when they start to open up about their day, for example, that’s the moment when you can say something.”
Persist, they may actually be listening
Sophia has had her share of difficult family devotions. Distracted or reluctant kids, sibling fights—she’s seen them all. It also doesn’t help when the family tries to get together on a Friday evening, when everyone is tired after a long week and just wants to do his own thing. “And then, half the time they are poking their siblings, irritating each other, and rolling around,” she recalls with a laugh.
In such times, Sophia does the only thing she can think of—just persist.
While it may not seem like much of a “technique”, she has discovered some positive results—much later. Despite her children’s apparent reluctance to read the Bible and listen to her, she realises that sometimes, they actually do recall something they had talked about weeks or months earlier. “They may have been poking each other and playing around, but you know, one ear may be listening.”
What makes this possible, she adds, is a very real relationship between parent and child. Children will not listen, she stresses, if there is no trust and understanding between them, to begin with. “Before the reading and listening can happen, there must be a baseline of relationship first, where you’re connecting with your child,” she says.
“Unless we spend that space and time with our children, we cannot expect them to read and listen with us.”
That means spending time with children—not just in terms of quantity but also quality. “There are two ways to play with children,” Sophia observes. “You could watch them play, or you could get down on the floor and play with them and connect with them. Unless we spend that space and time with our children, we cannot expect them to read and listen with us.”
This article was adapted from a question-and-answer session held at Our Daily Bread Ministries’ Bible Conference 2024: The Daunting Privilege, in July 2024.
