When We Don’t Have Quiet or Time (Part 2)

This is the second part of a two-part series on doing quiet time. Read Part 1 here.

As parents, it can be a real struggle to enjoy the same extended time of solitude with the Lord that we might have had before our kids came along.

Some of us—and that certainly includes me—might look back with longing on the times that we could commune with the Lord, like how Jesus did in Mark 1:35: “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.”

As a new mother, the only time I get up that early these days is to nurse my son, change his soiled diaper (and clothes), and—if it happens to be one of those days—strip and wash the bedsheets, no thanks to a pee leak.

Yet, when it feels impossible for us to do quiet time, it is perhaps the most opportune time to do so.

Don’t Wait Till You Feel Like It

At a breakout session at The Gospel Coalition’s 2022 Women’s Conference that I attended, called “When You Don’t Have Quiet or Time: Meeting with God in a Busy World”, panellist Betsy Childs Howard advised parents to intentionally cultivate the habit of spending time with the Lord.

Just as we might schedule a date night with our spouse because he or she is a priority in our lives, we need to do the same when it comes to prioritising time with the Lord.

This is especially important in the early days of parenthood, she stressed, when plans are always changing and being interrupted.

Just as we might schedule a date night with our spouse because he or she is a priority in our lives, the mother and editor for The Gospel Coalition says we need to do the same when it comes to prioritising time with the Lord.

But some of us might wonder: Isn’t that rather legalistic? I’d much rather prefer to spend time with God because I love Him, not because I have to.

To that, author and mum of three Amy DiMarcangelo says this might not always be possible—or even realistic. Waiting for the “right” or “perfect” moment to do quiet time might never happen, especially when we are surrounded by little hands and feet.

Moreover, waiting to “feel like it” before we do quiet time can be risky. If we do it only when we desire to do so, we may end up in a vicious circle that causes us to drift even further away, because the less we commune with God, the less we will desire to do our quiet time. And the less we do our quiet time, the less we will commune with God.

And as sinners who are prone to laziness and procrastination (of which I am foremost), waiting for the right moment to come along is simply perilous—because our human nature will ensure that it will never arrive, for whatever reason.

Says Amy: “We want to build that habit of quiet time into our life, so that when we are in seasons of trial or spiritual struggle—when it becomes harder to start approaching the Word—we would already be prepared, and have it already ingrained in the way we live.”

When We Have Too Much Time

Not having enough time can make it hard to be intentional about doing quiet time. But—and this may well sound familiar to you—so can having too much time, such as when we’re on holiday.

“Ironically, sometimes having more time makes it harder,” Betsy confesses. “I’ve struggled with having quiet times on vacation, when I don’t have a structured schedule and theoretically have more time. The illusion is that we will have quiet time because we have so much time—but we never actually get around to it because we never scheduled it.”

This is why many mothers say that it is important to get into the habit or rhythm of doing quiet time at the same time every day. When quiet time becomes a part of our daily routine, we don’t have to think about when and how to do it in the first place.

“Making it a habit helps takes away the extra barrier of having to remember,” Amy says. “When something is a habit, it’s just something you do—like drinking coffee in the morning after waking up. You don’t wonder: ‘Did I drink my coffee today?’”

When quiet time becomes a part of our daily routine, we don’t have to think about when and how to do it in the first place.

But what happens when we just don’t feel like doing quiet time—even if we have the time for it? What if we just don’t feel passionate about reading God’s Word on some days?

What we can do in such times when we feel lethargic or listless, is to pray for the Holy Spirit to stir our love and affection for the Lord and His Word. In such times, we can turn to the Psalms as a guide for our prayers, such as Psalm 119:36–37 (ESV):

Reading the Bible (even when we don’t feel like it) can help to attune and align our will and affections with God and His Word, and over time, as we meditate on Scripture, we will grow in delighting in His words (v. 16, 24, 35).

Incorporating Quiet Time into Our Daily Rhythms

Hunter Beless, a mum of three and the host of the Journeywomen podcast, suggests thinking of cultivating time with the Lord in terms of daily rhythms.

For example, we can ask ourselves: What are the rhythms I can establish throughout my day that can re-orient to the Word? Simply put, what can I do to get the Word in front of me, day by day?

Author and mother of four Irene Sun finds it useful to copy down Scripture—whenever and on whatever she can find. After giving birth to her third child, she described herself as “completely broken.”

“I realised that if I didn’t spend time at the table of God’s Word every morning, I will just die,” the Malaysian-born author says jokingly. “So when my brain is mush, I just open a psalm or whatever book I’m studying, and I just copy down Scripture—not because I’m so righteous, but because I’m so desperate. And that is how we should come to the Lord.”

Even if that means sitting in a car for a moment, Irene will write out a Bible verse or two on a receipt or napkin, as a means of pouring her heart out to the Lord, and letting Him minister to her heart with His Word.

“It’s like how we might send short texts to our spouse or parent, because we are just so desperate for that communication and communion with the one we love,” she says. “If we think of the Lord as a Person whom we love, then we’d do whatever it takes to commune with Him.”

We can ask ourselves: What can I do to get the Word in front of me, day by day?

I’ve found some of these ideas useful myself. I’ve been trying to incorporate time with the Lord in my daily routines, for example, by reading a chapter of Scripture over breakfast—or, if that’s not possible, during the commute to work.

I’ve also started the habit of listening to a Christian podcast while I’m doing the laundry, instead of ruminating over my undone errands. And while nursing my son at bedtime, I try to read a few pages (well, more like a few lines) of a book on gospel-centred parenting.

You might want to try some other ways, too, like listening to and meditating on worship songs while doing the dishes, or a short sermon while jogging or sending the kids to school. You could also make use of the many Bible study resources available—such as the JourneyThrough series, which takes readers through the books of the Bible, a bit at a time; or Our Daily Bread’s bite-sized daily devotional.

The Quality of Quiet Time

Sometimes, as a parent to a very energetic baby boy, I forget that I, too, am also a child—a child who must come before my Father, day by day, moment by moment, for all that I need.

And while I may not have the same quantity of time I used to have in earlier seasons of life, I can still have the same quality of quiet time with the Lord.

Sometimes, as a parent to a very energetic baby boy, I forget that I, too, am also a child—a child who must come before my Father, day by day, moment by moment, for all that I need.

As Jesus tells us in Luke 16:10: “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.”

While this was said in the context of handling money and resources, it also offers some food for thought when it comes to handling our time, says Irene.

It’s tempting to say, “Well, once I get past this season”, “Once I accomplish this thing”, or, “Once I get this part of my to-do list checked off”, before getting round to quiet time, she notes. “But these are the enemy’s lies,” she says. “The enemy wants to continually put us off from doing quiet time. And the truth is, we will.”

“We need to start obeying today, and trust that as we do so, God will increase our time.”

These days, I’m learning to stop myself from sliding down the slippery slope of excuses when it comes to spending time with the Lord, and to instead choose to intentionally walk the road to rest, repentance, and refreshment that can only be found in the presence of the Most High.

May Psalm 27:4-5 be our prayer as we enter into a new day and year, as we seek to do our quiet time with God:

This is the second part of a two-part series on doing quiet time. Read Part 1 here.