Not long ago, my teenager asked why I liked to bring God into every conversation with him. Daddy doesn’t do it, he said, so why do I? It made him not want to tell me things, he added.
What might go through your mind, fellow Christian parent, if you were to hear that from your child? I, for one, had all kinds of wild and angry thoughts flooding into my head:
“This is all Daddy’s fault. He should talk about God to you more often, so you won’t keep thinking that I’m the bad guy.”
“Silly boy, of course God is in everything—without Him we’d be dead in our sins. We must fear Him—after all, the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom! I must drum it into you till you get it!”
However, after years of my ego being whittled down by family members unimpressed by my Christian walk, I’ve learnt to say nothing in such moments. So, I simply nodded in reply.
My older and wiser self knew that I could not convince my son of God’s faithfulness and the need to trust in His faithfulness—only God’s Spirit could do that.
Sure enough, my little one then said to me: God doesn’t force us into a relationship with Him—He lets us choose.
Yes, my dear son, I know that. “All your children will be taught by the LORD, and great will be their peace” (Isaiah 54:13). God promises to teach our children, and I will trust Him. But I fear and fret about your salvation, and can’t help but wish the road to eternity with God would be smooth for you.
Being Faithful Is Hard
I became a cell group leader not long before I became a mother. My husband and I were indeed new parents—not only to biological children, but also to a spiritual family!
We knew our dual calling would challenge us. So, we began this journey of parenthood in obedience, fear, and trembling as we sought to steward and shepherd the souls God had entrusted to us.
But being faithful was harder than expected.
How could I be worthy to tell others about God, when I struggled with my own flesh in parenthood?
When my children were babies, my husband and I often disagreed on how to continue serving God in leading our cell group. I felt he was not doing enough, and he felt I was too demanding.
When my children were in primary school, we had to choose between coaching them in their studies at home, or serving in church and spending time with other people.
And when my children became teenagers, I often battled accusations that assailed within. How could I be worthy to tell others about God, when I struggled with my own flesh in parenthood—in my feelings of anger with my children, and resentment towards my husband?
Yet, God always showed me that no matter how wretched I felt I was, I had Him: His love for me was sufficient, and I was greatly blessed.
I wish I could say I never took things into my own hands, or acted out of my sinful nature. But I did.
but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.
—Proverbs 14:1
I don’t deserve a second chance, but God gave me one. Despite my failings, God rescued my family from my hands. I learnt to let go, trust in God, and pray. I prayed my children through sickness, educational difficulties, and behavioural challenges.
I had to learn that God is faithful, and He teaches me to be faithful.
Here are three things I’ve learnt about faithfulness in all my years walking with God as a parent:
1. God Wants His Laws on My Heart
and I will write them on their minds.”
—Hebrews 10:16
Of all the spiritual disciplines, reading the Bible came the most naturally to me.
As a young Christian, reading God’s Word was easy—since I wasn’t mature enough to realise how much of God’s Word I was violating. I understood things cognitively, but the Word of God did not cut into my soul. Meanwhile, I often wondered why I was not experiencing the power of God.
As time went on, life became more difficult. I faced problems I couldn’t solve. I felt alone and boxed in. I did not know what else to do but to continue reading the Bible, and asking God for help.
Soon, reading God’s words became difficult, as I realised how much I fell short of His ideal. I learned that God’s Word both cuts and heals the soul at the same time.
As Hebrews 4:12 says: “For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.”
God’s Word both cuts and heals the soul at the same time.
I had to change, and bring my actions in alignment to His Word. The Bible came alive to me, and I saw God’s power. In this way, God was carving His Word on my heart, and I started to be able to think God’s thoughts. God is faithful.
2. God Wants Me to Keep Loving My Family
toward love and good deeds.
—Hebrews 10:24
I have a sentimental soul—I imagine myself performing great and heroic acts of love towards humanity, and one day being lauded as a martyr.
Over the years, however, I learned that true love is demonstrated through the mundane and boring daily chores of life. Cooking and cleaning. Picking up the toy cars. Cleaning up breadcrumbs for the hundredth time.
God taught me that love is longsuffering, that we need to keep at it, as thankless or fruitless it may seem at times.
When our children were very young, they loved one another and enjoyed playing together. Years later—sadly—one of them told me bitterly: “I played with him because there was no one else. Now, I would rather not be with him.”
Despite that, we persisted in showing love to one another through family dinners, outings, birthday celebrations, long conversations about loving one another (not always appreciated), and prayer.
God taught me that love is longsuffering, that we need to keep at it, as thankless or fruitless it may seem at times.
By God’s grace, it seems that my children have grown to understand that as well. Recently, one of them said to me: “I like my brothers.” God is faithful.
3. God Wants Me to Endure
fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.
—Hebrews 12:1–2
I remember that when my firstborn was due for delivery, and the labour pains first started, I thought: “Hey, this isn’t too bad, if it doesn’t get worse.”
I asked the nurse, “Will it get worse?” The nurse must have thought, “Are you crazy? Of course it will!”
I soon found that out for myself—labour pain was unlike anything else I ever experienced.
Similarly, after my babies were born, people used to tell me: “This is the easy part.” I thought: “You must be mad, this is so tough!”
True enough, over the years that followed, many things would threaten to derail my parenting journey.
I can only say that it’s by the grace of God that I’m standing now.
The good news is: I’ve learned that God will preserve me through any condition of the sea as I journey on, be it the storm or the doldrums.
The only thing I need to do is to patiently endure: to keep calm and not to sin (Ephesians 4:26–27). Sleep if I need to, and God himself will soothe my anxiety or lift my spirits. God is faithful.
God is Faithful
It’s been more than 20 years now since I became a mother—and I’m still leading my cell group, too. God has been the same through the years. I am able to parent my children because God is able—and He is the One who enables me.
In hindsight, I’ve learned a simple lesson about faithfulness: all I need to do is decide to keep getting up when I fall, and go in God’s direction.
I am able to parent my children because God is able—and He is the One who enables me.
It may not be easy. There will always be obstacles and distractions along the way. Through it all, however, God is faithful even when we are not, and He will make all things right, in His time and in His way.
With that, I continue to pray that one day my son will understand and say: “Thank you, Mummy, for always talking about God.”
