Life during this circuit breaker reminds me of how Noah and his family were kept safe in the ark for 40 days while floods raged around them (Genesis 7:6–12). What did the family do to stave off boredom in the ark—with no electronic devices, work, or home-based learning? How did they manage conflicts between each other? Did they suffer from cabin fever?

In some ways, the current stay-home restrictions are meant to keep us in our “arks”, safe from the pandemic around us. Living in these miniature arks can create wonderful bonding opportunities for families—but also generate a lot of tension.

Attending to both work and children at the same time can throw parents into an abyss of constant chaos and frustration. Squabbling, rowdy children can trigger anger and impatience in us, leading us to shout threats to demand obedience. Tempers can flare as a result of the lack of personal space or boredom.

Given such challenging times, keeping biblical values alive can be difficult. I would like to suggest three ways in which we can continue to do so:

1. Create Family Rituals

Family “rituals” are important because they create special memories that we will remember. They can be fun activities that we enjoy, like watching a movie, playing board games, or doing a family project together.

However, it is equally important to create rituals where family members come together in quietness to reflect, to ask for forgiveness, and to affirm one another.

Such times allow for both negative and positive emotions to be shared. Where feelings have been hurt, they enable healing and restoration of relationships. Where good deeds have been unnoticed, they offer opportunities for affirmation and encouragement.

Ephesians 4:26 reminds us: “In your anger do not sin: do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.”

One of the most important words that we can teach our children to say is “sorry”.

After a meltdown or misbehaviour, once our children are ready to think, we can encourage them to sit down and reflect on their words or actions.

I recall the mounting tension one evening after a nasty exchange of words between my children. Over dinner, I asked the boys if there was anyone in the family whom they would like to ask for forgiveness. This started a chain of apologies: my eldest boy responded first, and soon, even my four-year-old boy was chipping in.

Sorry, Mum, for disobeying you.
Sorry, Gor Gor, for destroying your toys.
Sorry, Di Di, for shouting at you.

Sometimes, children—and parents—can be unaware that they have hurt each another. This family ritual teaches our children the value of apologising and asking for forgiveness.

Such reflective rituals can also be opportunities to affirm each other. A question like “What are you thankful for (for your family members)?” can help us notice and affirm values that we see in each other. We can guide our children to make statements like:

Gor Gor was kind when he played with me.
Pa Pa was patient when he taught me Maths.
Di Di was helpful when he washed the dishes.

These words of affirmation will not only encourage, but also help strengthen the desire to display these values.

2. Discipline and Guide the Children

How can a child learn biblical values without being taught?

Proverbs 22:6 says: “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.”

What I’ve found useful is to have a “reflection corner” in our house that allows our children to think about their actions. It can be a “thinking chair”, a “thinking mat”, or a “thinking corner”.

After a meltdown or misbehaviour, once our children are ready to think, we can encourage them to sit down and reflect on their words or actions. We can ask them to describe what triggered them, acknowledge their feelings, and help them to take the right actions. We have three “thinking chairs” in our study room where we ask our boys questions such as:

• Describe the trigger: What happened?
• Acknowledge feelings and develop empathy: So you were feeling angry. How do you think he felt when you hit him?
• Consider and take the right actions: What do you think you need to do to make things right?

Such “thinking moments” do not just engage the mind, but the heart as well. They are opportunities to instil biblical values and to remind children of values like patience, kindness, and empathy.

The current situation presents many opportunities for us to reach out to those who are in need. We can think of ways to involve our children in this.

During this circuit breaker, our “thinking chairs” also serve as a gathering point for the boys to listen to our instructions, and as a place for them to refuel their emotional reserves when being holed up for days leads to pent-up emotions and more frequent meltdowns. They are also a place where the boys receive undivided attention, comfort, and assurances from us.

3. Put Values into Action

It is not enough to know the values. We must put values into actions too. James 1:22 tells us: “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.”

Parents can plan activities that help our children turn biblical values into actions, like getting older siblings to read or play with younger siblings. Household chores are also a great way to teach responsibility and giving.

The current situation presents many opportunities for us to reach out to those who are in need. We can think of ways to involve our children in this.

Perhaps we can, as a family, bless a family struggling to make ends meet with gifts or food. Perhaps we can use technology to connect with people we know, to help them deal with physical and emotional isolation. Perhaps we can pray for people we know have been affected greatly by this circuit breaker.

These are wonderful opportunities to teach empathy, compassion, and sacrificial giving.

A number of our neighbours living in their miniscule “arks” have had their lives disrupted badly by the pandemic. Not only are they holed up in crammed conditions day and night, but they also have no jobs or regular income.

It is equally important to create rituals where family members come together in quietness to reflect, to ask for forgiveness, and to affirm one another.

Before the circuit breaker, we used to help the children with their schoolwork and invite them to our home for meals. Since these are not possible now, we’ve been thinking of ways to look out for them. We got our boys to plan a virtual birthday celebration for one of the kids, and to organise virtual lessons and activities for them during the school holidays, with my older boys helping in the preparation and planning.

There is no better time to teach our kids the value of looking out for others.

Noah and his family emerged from the ark to face a restored world. What challenges, I wonder, did they face when they left the ark? Were they shocked by the annihilation of the entire human population? Were they ready for the responsibility to populate and rule the land?

When this circuit breaker is over, we too, will be emerging from our “arks”—but the world we face might be fraught with greater challenges.

Will we emerge from the “ark experience” with brittle or broken relationships? Or will we emerge with strong biblical values built up during the circuit breaker that will help our children navigate the uncertain times ahead?