“I want to keep my hair long,” Elijah declared when told that he and his brother would need a haircut before the new school year. His younger brother, Elias, quickly chimed in, “Me too! Why must we cut our hair?”
“It’s a school rule to look neat and tidy,” I explained. “Just do it so that you won’t get in the bad books of your teachers on the first day of school. And since we’re going to the mall, let’s head to the bookstore to get assessment books, too.”
The boys groaned, and our conversation soon spiralled into a clash between my instructions and their desires.
Later that evening, I found out why my sons were so reluctant to go back to school. One was fearful of being taught by strict teachers, and the other was anxious about the homework demands of the new grade level.
While returning to school may be a joyful time for some children who score good grades easily or who are well-liked by their teachers and friends, this may not be the case for all. Children who are moving to a new school or starting school for the first time may worry about unfamiliar schedules, fitting in, or making new friends.
Children who are moving to a new school or starting school for the first time may worry about unfamiliar schedules, fitting in, or making new friends.
As parents, we may tend to focus on preparing our children on the “surface”, such as buying school uniforms, textbooks, and stationery. But we may then miss an opportunity to dive deeper into this occasion, and help them develop godly attitudes and build supportive relationships and routines.
Ephesians 2:10 tells us that “we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” God’s desire for what our children should accomplish is far greater than our own, which may often be myopic and deficient.
As we help our children gear up for the new school year, here are some ways we can encourage them to discover God’s vision for their lives, so that they can respond in obedience to fulfil their God-given potential.
Just Teddy:
Learning from Psalm 139
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1. Connect with Christ
Remain in me, as I also remain in you.
No branch can bear fruit by itself; i
t must remain in the vine.
Neither can you bear fruit
unless you remain in me.
—John 15:4
Shortly before Jesus’ departure for the cross on Calvary, He used this analogy of the vine and branches to assure His disciples of their continued connection and relationship with Him. This picture emphasises a complete and total dependence on Him.
When I was transiting from primary to secondary school myself, my primary 6 form teacher shared this passage with me, knowing that I felt nervous about leaving my caring teachers and familiar classmates for the unknown.
By establishing routines such as family devotions, giving thanks, and reminding ourselves of who God is, we hope that our children can grow in their connection with Christ and be spiritually rooted so that they will be better prepared for whatever comes their way in the new school year.
This passage reminded me to depend solely on Jesus for wisdom and strength to bear fruit and accomplish His purposes for my life. Ever since then, it’s become one of my favourite Scriptures, as it points me to rely on Jesus and His love: one that is unconditional, faithful, and sacrificial.
Here are some suggestions we can consider to help us and our children connect to Jesus as our vine:
Have regular family devotions, taking time to share words of encouragement or promises from His Word.
As a family, we gather every night to either read or listen to a devotional, before spending time in prayer and reflection. Sometimes, we may zip through our prayer or skip the reflection when we are too tired, but persevering in this discipline has yielded much joy and comfort.
Cultivate the habit of giving thanks for God’s presence, promises, and answered prayers.
Our family has a book we call the Family Thanksgiving Book, in which we draw or write about significant milestones or seasons of life. It is peppered with testimonies of answered prayers and Bible verses which are special to us. When we occasionally revisit whatever we have written, it never fails to inspire us to start journaling again.
Sharing our thanksgivings has given us added strength and assurance that He will see us through the challenges we face at work or in school.
Paste visible reminders of biblical promises around the home to remind everyone to spend time with the Lord.
We are always looking for ways to remind ourselves to be in fellowship with God. As Deuteronomy 6:7–9 instructs us, we are to talk about God’s Word and ways to our children wherever we go and whenever we can.
By establishing routines such as family devotions, giving thanks, and reminding ourselves of who God is, we hope that our children can grow in their connection with Christ and be spiritually rooted so that they will be better prepared for whatever comes their way in the new school year.
2. Prune for a Greater Purpose
He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit,
while every branch that does bear fruit
he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.
—John 15:2
Many of us can be easily distracted from walking in a path of fruitfulness in the Lord. While pruning may sound painful, it cleanses and strengthens us, very much like how the gardener lovingly removes anything from a branch that is sapping its vitality and strength.
As we stay close to Christ, He will reveal things in us that prevent us from walking in His will and ways.
As we prayerfully prepare our children for the new year, we can take some time to reflect and take stock of our spiritual growth as a family.
For example, God recently convicted my heart and showed me my tendency towards overemphasising my children’s academic achievement at the expense of their godliness and other areas of growth. In the pursuit of academic excellence, I had missed some opportunities to build their character and strengthen their emotional well-being at times.
I quickly repented, asking God to prune away this sinful tendency and replace it with a broader view of fruitfulness for my kids.
As we prayerfully prepare our children for the new year, we can take some time to reflect and take stock of our spiritual growth as a family. Here are some talking points you might want to consider:
What do we understand about the fruit of the Spirit as described in Galatians 5:22–23?
My wife and I have asked our boys to tell us, in their own words, what love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control meant to them, and how these characteristics of Christ had been shown in their lives over the past year.
This was a tremendously fruitful exercise. One son, in describing kindness, recounted how a teacher had shown him kindness, and that he wanted to pay it forward. His brother, meanwhile, acknowledged the times he was impatient with us, and asked us for forgiveness (he even tried to ask for forgiveness in advance as a “get-out-of-jail” card!).
What activities do we channel our time, resources, and energies into?
Many mobile phones today can tell us how much time we spend on social media, entertainment, shopping, food, and so on. A couple of weeks after Elijah got his first mobile phone, we reviewed his daily average screen time and the proportion of time spent on various apps. This led to a meaningful conversation on what we were spending our time and effort on.
Eventually, Elijah decided to reallocate the time spent on various apps, and we all committed ourselves to reviewing our habits and activities in the new school term.
What unfruitful distractions might we need to discard, or sin that we need to repent of (see 1 John 1:9)?
Our pet cat loves to enter our bedroom, and sometimes refuses to leave when it’s time to sleep. My wife and I will then take out a toy fishing pole with a feather, which it will, without fail, try to chase—all the way out of our bedroom.
Likewise, I think we can end up chasing unfruitful distractions and be sidetracked from God’s purposes for our lives. Some of these pursuits may seem good, but may still cause us to miss out on the best God has prepared for us.
We can end up chasing unfruitful distractions and be sidetracked from God’s purposes for our lives.
For example, we’ve tried to avoid enrolling our children in supplementary classes that can distract them from what we believe is more important—such as time spent with family and God.
As we pray, reflect, and discuss as a family what these stumbling blocks might be, we can confess and repent before the Lord, seek His forgiveness, and realign ourselves to His will for our lives.
3. Start Bearing His Fruit Today
This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit,
showing yourselves to be my disciples.
—John 15:8
Our union with Christ—in both heart and mind—shows itself outwardly, through Christlike action such as genuine repentance, godly behaviour, and witnessing for Him. And that can start even before the new school year begins.
Here are some ways you can consider, to help your children remember to show Christ’s love to others:
Review our calendars and schedules, and set aside time for godly pursuits.
In our kitchen, we keep a shared family calendar and update it regularly. At the end of each year, we sit down to mark out birthdays and other milestone events, reminisce about past events, and ask God to guide us in the year ahead.
Last year, for example, we recalled how God had miraculously healed my father-in-law from a stroke. The family calendar has helped both our boys become more intentional and regular in their prayers for their grandfather’s health and salvation.
Find ways to bless your community.
If your children are interested in animals, you could get them to help out at an animal shelter or provide a home for a stray. If they are passionate about music, encourage them to curate edifying playlists to share with friends on social media. And if they are passionate about gardening, find opportunities for them to practise creation care.
We can also encourage children to join service-learning activities and programmes run by many schools, where they can learn to serve others—and experience joy and fruitfulness as they enter the new school year.
I’ve tried to involve my sons in programmes that I do, such as one for children from disadvantaged families. At a recent creative writing workshop conducted by a local author, for example, I roped them in to help, and as a result, they got to connect with other children.
We can also encourage children to join service-learning activities and programmes run by many schools, where they can learn to serve others—and experience joy and fruitfulness as they enter the new school year.
Invite friends to take part in activities and church programmes together.
We can also help our children learn to obey Jesus’ command to love others (John 13:34–35) by encouraging them to invite their friends to sports or movie outings, online gaming sessions, or Sunday school, creating opportunities for sharing God’s love and fellowship.
In our cell group meetings (now held online), the children have a separate breakout session in which they take turns to organise activities, pray, share videos, and run quizzes. As a result, I have seen edifying conversations about friendship and school take place.
As a parent, it gives me great comfort to see our children growing together in the church community in bearing the fruit of the Spirit, as they show love to their peers and model servant leadership.
Setting an Example for Our Children
As parents, we play an essential role in influencing our children’s walk with God—which is why it is important for us to walk the talk as well as talk the walk. We can do this by being closely connected to Christ ourselves, seeking to prune our own unfruitful habits, and extending God’s love to those around us.
As our sons are always curious about our lives, my wife and I often recount to them the times we have exemplified—or not exemplified—the fruit of the Spirit in our growing-up years.
Once, I shared how I got into a fight with a classmate who had accused me of something I hadn’t done, and describe how we eventually resolved our conflict and restored our friendship. I hope it gave our sons some insights into dealing with similar conflicts that may come their way in the future.
As parents, we play an essential role in influencing our children’s walk with God—which is why it is important for us to walk the talk as well as talk the walk. We
As our children gear up for the new school year, we can think of conversation starters to encourage them to share about what they think and feel. This gives them a chance to express their concerns and fears, as well as an opportunity for us to comfort and encourage them with God’s Word, and to point them towards Christ.
And may we always draw strength from Ephesians 3:20–21 as we commit our children’s new school year to the Lord and let Him mould and shape them according to His purposes and their God-given potential:
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably
more than all we ask or imagine,
according to his power that is at work within us,
to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus
throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
