The Primary School Leaving Examination (PSLE) was drawing near but my son’s grades remained discouraging. Waiting for the outcome of the Direct School Admission (DSA) exercise—which allows Primary 6 students to apply to secondary schools based on talent areas like sports or performing arts before the PSLE—was stressful too.
Indeed, it was stressful as we tackled the PSLE on both fronts. As I signed him up for yet another PSLE prep class, a tinge of guilt crept in. I tried to make up for it by offering emotional support, accompanying him to every DSA trial, and doing what I could to be present.
I told myself I was simply doing what any responsible parent would—helping my child reach his full potential. I constantly reminded him that his identity was in God, not his grades nor how he performed in the DSA. And of course, I prayed.
So why did I still feel unsettled even after doing all the “right” things?
Every month, we roll out a new resource for families. Subscribe to our email updates, and be the first to get a copy!
Post-PSLE Revelation
The answer came only after the PSLE dust had settled—and surprisingly, through a Bible study on the Ten Commandments. In the thick of the exam season, I thought I’d surrendered the process to God. But He had His own way of speaking straight to my heart.
First commandment: “You must not have any other god but me.” (Exodus 20:3 NLT)
At first glance, I thought I was in the clear. I didn’t worship any gods like those in the Old Testament. But the first commandment goes deeper—it calls us to worship God exclusively by loving Him with our whole heart, mind, and soul. He is to be the ultimate object of our desire and trust.
Measured against that standard, I couldn’t honestly say I had no other gods during the stressful PSLE season. An “ideal” PSLE score—defined by my own expectations—and the thought of sharing it with friends and family, had crept into my heart.
Without realising it, I had started to look to those outcomes for the kind of comfort and affirmation only God can give. My hopes for the PSLE and DSA, though unspoken, had taken God’s rightful place in my heart.
Second commandment: “You must not make for yourself an idol of any kind.” (v. 4).
No, I didn’t bow down to any carved images like those described in the Old Testament. Back then, it was common to make physical idols as aids to worship God. But He had strong words against such practices. He didn’t want His people to reduce Him to something they thought He was or that they could shape. After all, He is far beyond anything we could ever imagine. No idol could ever represent Him—not even remotely. In His wisdom, God knew that any idol would eventually lead people away from Him.
Without knowing it, I had based my sense of worth as a parent on my son’s “good” PSLE or DSA outcomes, which had distorted the way I related to Him.
In short, the second commandment warns us not just against worshipping false gods, but also against worshipping the true God in the wrong way. He desires to be worshipped as He has revealed himself—not as we imagine or wish Him to be. Yet this kind of misplaced worship can be subtle and hard to recognise.
Without knowing it, I had based my sense of worth as a parent on my son’s “good” PSLE or DSA outcomes, which had distorted the way I related to Him. Instead of worshipping Him for who He truly is—sovereign and good, regardless of my son’s results—I had placed my desired outcomes above Him.
It was a hard truth to face: I had turned my expectations into an idol.
Tenth commandment: “You must not covet” (v. 17).
In this too, I thought I was good. After all, I wasn’t grasping at things that the tenth commandment forbids us from longing for—our neighbour’s spouse, possessions, or anything that didn’t belong to me.
At its heart, however, this commandment isn’t just about outward actions but the inner desires and attitudes driving them. It calls us to a life of contentment, trusting that God knows our needs and provides accordingly.
As I reflected, I realised I had been discontented with my son’s preliminary results, the secondary school options that came with them, and certain DSA outcomes. I had wished for more—not necessarily what God intended, but what I believed would affirm my parenting, secure my son’s future, and shield me from uncomfortable comparisons.
My longing wasn’t just for my son to do well. The deeper issue was that I wasn’t content with what God had in mind for my 12 year old.
While it may not necessarily be wrong to desire the best for our children, the problem begins when those desires aren’t anchored in trust and delight in God. Psalm 37:4 reminds us to “take delight in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”
When our desires spring from discontentment, they can easily evolve into something else: covetousness. My longing wasn’t just for my son to do well. The deeper issue was that I wasn’t content with what God had in mind for my 12 year old.
In hindsight, God was lovingly guiding him towards a path shaped by His wisdom and knowledge of my son’s unique gifts. But I had set my heart on something else—specific schools and programmes that I now realise had no right to demand.
Post-PSLE Realignment
The realisation that I had fallen short was humbling. As I paused to dwell in God’s presence, He revealed two specific areas to me with a clarity that was both unsettling and liberating.
Being Wholehearted
I believe that creeping sense of unease was God’s gentle way of nudging me towards wholehearted love for Him—even in things as seemingly innocuous as the PSLE and DSA. God gave us the first and second commandments because He wanted us to be wholehearted in our relationship with Him.
But God knows how easily our hearts can wander. That’s why He gave us King David’s prayer in Psalm 139:23–24—a heartfelt request for divine heart examination—to help us assess the sincerity and wholeheartedness of our walk with Him:
“Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.”
This prayer of self-surrender became a turning point that helped realign my heart and thoughts back toward God.
Being Content
Aside from learning to be wholehearted in my love for the Lord, I also had a lesson on contentment.
I don’t like to admit it (and I probably didn’t look or sound like it then), but as the pressure mounted, so did my inner struggle. That season exposed more than just stress—it revealed a divided heart and how I struggled to be content in Him.
Jesus offers us a powerful antidote: cultivate our relationship with God. He reminds us in Matthew 6:33 to “seek first his kingdom and his righteousness”, and promises that all these things will be given to us as well.
A Work in Progress
I’m still a work in progress, but I’ve begun to taste the sweetness and peace that come from living His way. As I spend time with Him, I’m drawn deeper into His Word, where the Spirit gently reveals what pleases—and grieves—His heart. By His grace, convictions start taking root and slowly grow into contentment in Him. It’s a quiet transformation that takes time.
Math was one of my favourite subjects, so here’s a little equation that helps me:
Contentment in God = f(Relationship with God)
In other words, the more our relationship with Him deepens, the more our contentment grows. Or as Paul puts it in 1 Timothy 6:6: “Godliness with contentment is great gain.”
Growing our relationship with God isn’t always easy. Whether you’re a working parent or a stay-at-home one, carving out time to dwell in God’s Word and presence can feel nearly impossible—especially during the intense exam season.
I’m still a work in progress, but I’ve begun to taste the sweetness and peace that come from living His way.
But here’s something that’s helped me: talking to, worshipping, and crying out to Him—anytime, anywhere. Personally, keeping a worship song in my heart and focusing on one attribute of God each day has also made a real difference. And if certain chat groups or social media threads are stirring up anxiety or discontentment, perhaps it’s time to step away—for a while or for good.
I’m reminded of the beautiful words of Augustine of Hippo, the 4th-century theologian, who captured the human condition so well:
“You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.”
Are you feeling unsettled this PSLE season?
Have you prayed, done all you can . . . and yet, the longings and restlessness still linger?
Perhaps God is lovingly nudging your heart—inviting you to return and to be realigned with Him.
May we honour Him wholeheartedly, and find our true rest and deep contentment in Him alone.
