The first time I read the account of Mary and Martha, I was squarely on Martha’s side. Even though I’ve read Luke 10:38–42 dozens of times since then, there’s a part of me that still secretly roots for Martha.
Perhaps it’s because I am very much like her, and would probably have done the exact same thing as she did. After all, here was Jesus, the Son of God, at her front door with a bunch of disciples. Wouldn’t she do what any good host would do—welcome them in, clear the living area, pour them drinks, and prepare for their meal?
Yet, as she hustled and bustled around the house, her sister just sat there, doing absolutely nothing. Wouldn’t you feel as annoyed as Martha did?
The Martha in Me
Unsurprisingly, the Martha in me grew after I became a mother. It seemed like I no longer had the time to sit at Jesus’ feet listening to Him, like I used to.
Now, I was perpetually “distracted by all the preparations that had to be made” (Luke 10:40)—making breakfast for my son while getting myself ready for work, taking him to school, rushing home to cook dinner, cleaning up after dinner, bathing, and putting my son to sleep (not to mention doing the never-ending laundry).
The Martha in me grew after I became a mother.
For the longest time, therefore, I couldn’t understand why Jesus affirmed Mary but chided Martha. To me, Martha was the more pragmatic sister. She was being thoughtful and hospitable. She was trying to make Jesus and His disciples feel comfortable when they entered her home. She was a woman of order and control; a woman who was seeking to do things to the best of her ability.
Yet, here was Jesus asking her—and all of us—to be like Mary, her sister.
I could almost hear myself muttering under my breath: “If we were all like Mary and just sat down to listen to Jesus, who would do Martha’s work? Who would refill the drinks and cook the food? Who would prepare the house for the guests and clean up after they left?”
And so I often asked myself: Why was Martha being painted in a bad light? Why was her sister seen as devoted and faithful, while she was seen as distracted and fussing—when she was doing all the necessary work?
One Thing Necessary
There was, however, one thing that Martha didn’t do. In fact, it was the only thing that Jesus wanted from her, according to Him in Luke 10:41–42:
“Martha, Martha . . . you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
What was this one thing that Mary chose that’s “better” and “will not be taken away” from us? It’s this: knowing our priorities.
Jesus praised Mary for prioritising the most important, precious, and life-giving thing in the whole world: dwelling in His presence and listening to His words. Mary knew that when the Son of God steps into the same room as you, you don’t think about how clean the floor is or whether there’s enough water for the guests—you stop what you’re doing, fall down in worship and reverence at His feet, and cling to every single word He says.
What Jesus Wants from Us
As I reflected on Luke 10:38–42, I realised that Jesus didn’t chide Martha for her hospitality or service, or favour her any less than Mary. In fact, John 11:5 records that “Jesus loved Martha”, and her siblings Mary and Lazarus.
What Jesus was looking for in Martha was a heart that was inclined towards knowing and listening to Him, rather than being “worried and upset about many things” (Luke 10:41).
What Mary understood—and that Martha likely didn’t—is that we need Jesus, not the other way around.
Perhaps Martha was worried and upset because she wanted her house to be perfect for Jesus and His disciples, and it was nowhere close to her standards when they arrived. Perhaps she wanted recognition for her invisible labour of love or a word of praise for her hospitality. Perhaps she resented her sister for not helping, which led her to complain to Jesus about Mary’s seeming laziness and even question Jesus’ inaction at this obviously unfair situation.
Yet, when Jesus lovingly told Martha that her sister had chosen the better thing, He was effectively telling her—and the Martha in us—this:
I love you and your willingness to serve Me, but right now, I don’t need the house to be spotless or My cup refilled. I don’t need anything from you. What I desire is for you to give Me your full attention and devotion—and in this moment, what I want is for you to sit at My feet and listen to what I say. Trust that I will provide for you and your household, and will enable and empower you as you go about serving Me.
What Mary understood—and that Martha likely didn’t—is that we need Jesus, not the other way around.
As mothers, we may forget this at times and believe that our household chores, family meals, and children’s routines are totally up to us. We might feel that without us, our family’s world will stop spinning and come crashing down. And we might become so absorbed with the details of our schedules and life that we lose sight of what’s really important—our relationship with Jesus Christ, our Lord and Saviour, the Word who became flesh and who made His dwelling among us (John 1:14).
Being Both Mary and Martha at Home
As we go about our days coping with the constant trials and challenges that come by, have we forgotten whose presence we are in? Have we shouldered needless burdens and unnecessary anxieties—worrying over finances, parenting issues, and our homes—on our own instead of casting them on the God who cares for us (1 Peter 5:7)?
Have we mixed up our priorities, focusing on what is secondary—the acts of service that form the fabric of motherhood—instead of on what should be primary—sitting at the feet of Jesus and listening to His words?
I confess that I have. And yet, what strength, comfort, and peace I find when I turn my eyes upon Jesus and His life-giving words: “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5).
“You are not losing time while you are feeding the soul.”
Fellow mothers in Christ, let us endeavour to be both Mary and Martha in our homes. May we prioritise prayer and the reading of God’s Word, such that serving Him and our families becomes an outflow of our love for our Lord and Saviour. May we ground all we do in a living, personal, and evergrowing relationship with Jesus, so that we may declare in amazement and adoration each and every single day: “We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth” (John 1:14).
As English preacher Charles Spurgeon once said:
“All that you can give to Christ in any shape or form will not be so dear to him as the offering of your fervent love, the clinging of your humble faith, the reverence of your adoring souls . . . You are not losing time while you are feeding the soul. While by contemplation you are getting purpose strengthened and motive purified, you are rightly using time . . . It is not your thoughtless service, performed while your souls are half asleep, it is that which you do for Christ with eyes that overflow, with hearts that swell with emotion, it is this that Jesus accepts. May we have more of such service, as we shall have if we have more of sitting at his feet.”
When we strive to be both Mary and Martha as we love and serve Christ as mothers, we can be sure that whatever we get from being in His presence and His Word will never be taken away from us.
